


At all costs

by solveariddle



Category: Bates Motel (2013)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 09:04:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10964055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solveariddle/pseuds/solveariddle
Summary: If you could change one thing, what would it be? - I would want her to be still alive. // This story answers the question what Alex, Dylan and Norman could have done differently so that Norma wouldn't have had to die. Of course, everything comes at a price.





	At all costs

**Author's Note:**

> The bad news is there won't be an update on my other story Fatal Attraction this weekend in case you are waiting for it. Hopefully next week. The good news is that this little piece begged to be written and turned out to be not so little (as in short) at all. ;) Sometimes my muse is on a roll.
> 
> These are three different scenarios that answer the same question that is posed at the beginning. It's not a chronological order; they exist alternately. Just so that you're not confused. It helps in any case if you have seen all episodes of seasons 1-4 because there are many references.
> 
> Trigger warning for suicide in the first part. Rating for content and language. There are some f-bombs.

_If you could change one thing, what would it be?_

_\- I would want her to be still alive._

_And what would you be willing to do to make sure of that?_

* * *

**Norman**

**2014**

He is running as fast as never before, running for his life. If there exists an even more cynical description for the situation he is in, Norman is not aware of it, the random thought slowing him down.

"Norman, where are you? Come back here!" he hears his mother's desperate voice somewhere behind him, the clear air of fall carrying it through the woods as if she was right next to him.

She is the only person in the entire world who is able to talk him out of this. So he keeps running, needs to get away before she catches up with him, the gun heavy in his hand all of a sudden. It makes him stumble and fall, shortening the distance between them.

"Stop! STOP!" Her rushed steps are coming closer, her voice breaking when she is screaming at the top of her lungs as if he didn't hear her before when they both know he did and didn't stop anyway. He hears her tripping, but it doesn't seem to affect her pace. Norma Bates has always had an indomitable will, especially when it comes to protecting her youngest son.

And then she has reached him, is dragging him to the ground when he stumbles again. Kicking her is a reflex that makes Norman stare at his mother in horror as she groans with pain and falls on her back. He didn't mean to hurt her, and yet, he did. There couldn't be a better clarification regarding why there is no other choice. This is not about him but about her. Everything is; he has to keep her safe at any cost.

"Give me the gun, Norman," her words are a whimpered plea.

It's gut-wrenching to see her like this, down on the ground, begging him. And it's all his fault. He knows now what he is capable of, what he did. With every breath, every heartbeat Norman is aware that he will hurt his mother one day. It's not a question of _if_ , only of _when_. Not that he wants to, but things occasionally _happen_ when he blacks out. His father. His teacher. His mother can't be next; it has to stop. _He_ has to stop it since there are no alternatives, not really. Being in prison or in an institution is unimaginable since it means to be separated from her. That is not going to happen, not as long as he has a say in it, the side of him that wants to prevent the scenario he fears most.

"I don't wanna be who I am. I don't wanna hurt you." Norman has stood up, but he is swaying, wobbly on his legs. This feels like a nightmare save that he knows he won't wake up from it, quite the opposite.

Norma holds her breath, not because of what her son said but because of what she heard between the lines and understood immediately. Norman watches her body go rigid for a moment before she jumps up, ignoring the ache in her limbs from the fall.

He is running out of time. However Norman is calm. He made his list and processed it one by one. There is so much more he could tell her, but he couldn't have had a better goodbye. It has to be enough. Having mother bake him the best apple pie in the world. Dancing with her. Finishing the stuffed sparrow to leave it for her as a last gift. His vision gets blurry as his eyes fill with tears. He loves her so much.

_You mean everything to me. I love you more than my own life. - Me too._

This is all he needs. A happy memory to help him through this. Norma wavers a split second in disbelief of what is happening and this gives him all the time he needs. Norman puts the gun against his head just as her fingertips brush his, his mind editing her agonized scream out when he pulls the trigger. There is only the warmth of her touch and then… nothing but a peaceful quiet.

* * *

**2017**

The air smells of snow even though it's only fall. This time of the year always reminds Norma of White Pine Bay the most, of falling leaves and rainy days, the sun shining through the clouds in between. It was fall when she left, sold the motel at a loss, packed her bags and never looked back.

She would be dead if a man hiking through the woods with his granddaughter hadn't run into the horrible scenario right after Norman had shot himself. Her memories are grossly distorted; she was out of her mind, tried to pick up the gun and end her life too. It wasn't the voice or arguments of this gentle stranger that convinced her to stay alive. Norma doesn't even know what he said to her, couldn't hear it through the buzz in her ears. It was the face of the child, blue eyes surrounded by blonde locks. She looked at herself, a tiny version of her that used to believe in what is good despite everything. The man kicked the gun away so that she couldn't reach it and that was that. She never even thanked him for it.

Perhaps because it didn't feel as if there was anything to thank him for during the next years. Somehow she ended up in Seattle. Not too far away so that she could visit Norman's grave from time to time but far enough to pretend… whatever it was she was doing.

It didn't take long until Dylan disappeared. She doesn't know where he lives now. Their beginning closeness didn't survive the agony of Norman's death. It would have been a chance for them to get closer, but the pain brought out the worst in both of them. On some days, Norma thinks she sees him among a crowd in the street. Maybe he feels the same, maybe they will find their way back together one day.

At first, she doesn't recognize him because he is wearing no uniform. Norma practically bumps into him when she comes out of her favorite coffee shop. It's her morning routine before her shift at the book store starts. She has to make a living, and surprisingly enough, it calms her to watch people come in and search for fictional worlds to lose themselves in them, especially when parents bring their children to introduce them to this world. It reminds her of how she always read a goodnight story to Norman. It's a good memory. One that she can hold on to without feeling the pain too much.

For some reason, he doesn't seem to be as surprised to see her as she is.

"Norma, err, that's a coincidence."

Save that it feels as if it isn't.

"What are you doing here, Sheriff?" Norma tilts her head back and feels his gaze on her. He has always had a weakness for her.

"I was looking for something."

He keeps staring at her in a way that makes his statement rather sound as if he had been looking for _someone_ , but that can't be true, right? How would he know that it took her almost three years to be able to barely function and get back to life? How would he know that if he wanted to meet her again, this would be the right time because she shut everyone out before? On the other hand, he is the sheriff. He knows stuff or can find it out.

Norma thinks of the sparrow on her chest of drawers with the letter next to it. _Mother, I made this little bird for you. I will always love you and we will always be part of each other. Norman_ It is equally terrible and wonderful to see it every day. She can feel him right now, the boy that will always be a part of her and took his own life so that she could live. For a moment the memories are so overwhelming that she can't breathe. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Romero reach out to support her because he knows something is going on. He always knew. They had their disputes, but he also was there for her. So perhaps...

"Did you find it?" She smiles and when Alex smiles back at her, Norma realizes that she has never seen him happy before.

* * *

**Dylan**

**2015**

For a brief moment he believes she realized how much she has hurt him and will say something to hold him back, but then she only asks him to give her the earring. That fucking earring. Emma's mother is dead. He knows it, Norma knows it, and yet…

"Don't say anything to him," he hears her voice behind him when he is talking to his brother, trying to convince him to check himself back into Pineview. Of course she ran after him only because she saw him talking to her beloved Norman.

Norma approaches him like a warrior, ready to attack, the gravel scrunching under her feet, her eyes threatening him. This is not his place, probably never has been.

"Goodbye, Norman." Dylan hugs his brother and gets into his car without looking at his mother again.

He drives away, but something is wrong with the car. It is swerving about and going too fast and that is a dangerous combination; Dylan is aware of it even in his agitated state. So he pulls over, but for some reason even stopping the car is difficult. It stutters and skids and eventually comes to a halt with a jolt catapulting his head on the wheel. The impact is painful, however strangely calming. There is a fluttering motion next to his field of vision. His hands that are still grabbing the wheel are shaking. It takes a lot of effort to press himself in an upright sitting position. Why is the wheel wet? What is that sound filling the car? Then it hits him. What he did, what he was about to do – leaving his mother behind with a brother that he loves but who is also a murderer, starting a new life that wouldn't include her anymore. The memories come crashing in; he can't stop them as he keeps sobbing and the tears keep coming.

 _Hey, mom._ \- When he showed up on her doorstep unannounced because she had left town without telling him, the unwanted son. He was broke, needed a place to stay but aside from that, he intended to leave again as soon as possible, and from the piercing look she gave him, she was hoping for that too.

 _I'm sorry, Dylan. I'm so sorry, for everything. You're beautiful and you're a miracle, that someone like you could come out of all that. And I wouldn't give you up for anything._ \- Things turned out differently than he expected, he stayed longer than he had planned and then… this. When Norma finally apologized to him, a burden was lifted from him he had been carrying around all his life.

 _I love you, Dylan. I love you so much._ \- He couldn't believe she had actually said that, her words leaving him in a state of shock, unable to reply. Instead he walked away. Story of his life. But the feeling stuck, lived under his skin and in his bones and made him stronger. His mother loved him and he loves her save that he never told her.

 _I don't want anything to happen to you._ \- That's what he kept telling her. It was his way of expressing how much she meant to him. Did she know? Does she?

 _You don't understand what it means to me to have a family finally._ \- And yet, he left right after their first serious argument they'd had in years.

The tears stopped and his breathing is becoming steady as acceptance sets in. He is a fucking coward. That's what he is. Norma lashed out, but that's what she does; he knows that, be it with words or with physical force. He shouldn't have driven her into a corner where she basically had to choose between him and Norman, should have known how that would end. _You're making shit up because you're jealous of him! You always have been._ She hurt him badly, but she apologized right after whereas he... _You've never been a real mother to me! Never!_ _I'm done, Norma._ He also hurt her badly but instead of an apology, he simply left. She stood there, right in front of him, tears in her eyes and _he – just – left_. Who will protect her when he will be gone, live in another city? Especially now that he told her about Romero and she most certainly will break up with him. Sure, he told Norman to check himself back into Pineview, but who is he trying to fool? It was Norman who insisted on being released. He will never go back to that place voluntarily, in particular since he doesn't understand to a full extent what is wrong with him, how dangerous he is. Norman has moments of clarity, however they slowly but surely succumb to his delusions.

Dylan starts the engine and turns the car around. First thing he will do is tell his mother that he made up the story about Romero intending to have Norman committed behind her back, that he only wanted to hurt her by inventing it. He witnessed her being so happy after she had married the sheriff. There is no way he will be the reason she throws that away.

He speeds back to the motel, dialing Emma's number. It will be hard for her, but she will understand. This is Emma, the girl with a heart of gold. They will work this out somehow even if he can't leave with her now.

"Are we ok?" he asks after he explained everything.

There is a brief pause before Emma answers, her voice having a soothing effect on him as always, "Yes. Yes, we are."

The motel is within sight, Dylan hoping he is not too late, as he spots his mother walking towards her car. She is walking slowly as if she is stalling something. Like talking to her husband about a certain topic that most likely will lead to their separation. Dylan takes a deep breath. This is good. He has arrived just in time.

"Emma, we'll talk later. Love you." Dylan ends the call, his mother watching him when he parks his car and gets out.

He approaches her carefully. Norma is unpredictable; he doesn't want to risk that she jumps in her car and drives away. She has fixated her gaze on him though as if she has been waiting for him to come back.

"Norma, can we talk, please?"

She doesn't answer, only looks at him, her chest rising and falling the way it is when she is about to cry. Then she runs towards him and throws herself in his arms.

"I'm so sorry," Dylan mumbles.

"So am I." Her words are muffled because she has buried her face in the crook of his neck.

They hold each other for a while until she leans back to look at him, wiping away her tears. Norma sniffles but also smiles, her torn expression making Dylan wonder whether she actually chose Norman over him when they were fighting earlier. Maybe she only lashed out with words so much because for the first time in her life she wished she would have been able to make another choice.

* * *

**2017**

"This is delicious," Dylan says as he tastes the beef filet.

"Oh please," Norma acts as if she wasn't flattered. "I just threw some things together."

They all know she didn't. Norma is an excellent cook.

"Want some bread..." There is a brief, awkward pause until she remembers the girl's name. "...Marie?"

Dylan and Emma tried very hard to make it work, but in the end it didn't. Norma regrets it; Emma was like a daughter to her. However life is like that. There is no use to rail against your fate; it only makes things worse. Moreover things wouldn't have worked out for her if Dylan hadn't stayed. So it would be kind of hypocritical to mourn his loss when she is at least part of the reason his relationship with Emma failed.

Norma knew he was lying when Dylan came back to tell her he had made up that Alex was about to get Norman committed behind her back. But sometimes you need to believe a lie in order to prevent your life from falling apart. Dylan moved in with her and Norman until her youngest son was stabilized enough to accept Alex in the house. Medication and therapy achieved that; however it was a long way. By now Norma has given up on the idea that Norman and Alex will ever be on good terms. They make it work somehow, a testament of their love for her, but that's it.

Norman moved out three months ago. He found an apartment in White Pine Bay and became friends with a recently divorced shop owner, more than friends actually. Madeleine Loomis. She bears an eerie resemblance to a younger version of Norma that no one comments on. It's the reason Norman is not here for their usual Friday dinner date at the Bates house when the family gets together. Madeleine and Norman are on a date.

"And here's the wine," Alex announces as he enters the room. They turned the basement into half fruit, half wine cellar.

When he goes past Norma, Alex stops and bends down to kiss her. Dylan is not overly romantic, but it's something he wants for himself every time he sees them together, just as much in love as… whenever they eventually both realized they were. Norma smiles at her husband dreamily before she notices Marie watching Dylan watching them.

"What?" she asks.

"Nothing." Dylan shakes his head.

It's not nothing though. It's so much more than they ever dared to hope for.

* * *

**Alex**

**2015**

"How much?" Alex asks. The woman opposite to him doesn't reply, but he knows it's only pretense. After all he bought Norman's place here two weeks ago. There is always a number; she only wants to make him raise the stakes. "I assume this will be enough." He pushes a bundle of bills over to her side of the table.

"Well...," she feigns to count it although her gaze told him this is not the first time she does this. It's only for show, making him wonder if the entire management of Pineview is corrupt since this is not the woman he talked to two weeks ago.

"It is enough," Alex states. He won't let her play him false. "I already paid for two months. Keep Norman Bates here and add four more. Then we'll talk again." He pauses. "And I want him to get the best treatment. Understood?"

If he's honest with himself, he doesn't care about Norman getting better, just added that to ease his consciousness. Norma thinks highly of the doctor who treats Norman though. What was his name? Dr. Ennis? Dr. Edmond? Alex didn't pay attention to the details when she told him about it, only was happy because she was. So maybe there will be a breakthrough based on Norman's therapy. All the better.

The woman nods her assent as Alex stands up and walks out. She doesn't look as if she feels she has the upper hand anymore. In fact, she almost looks as if she feels threatened. He has that effect on people. Especially when they make the mistake of announcing to release someone who could be a danger to the woman he loves.

Alex's thoughts stray on his drive home. He knew it wouldn't work when Norma tried to talk Norman into staying at Pineview. He has always avoided taking a closer look at the special relationship Norma has with her youngest son. It's obvious, however, that Norman is able to manipulate her into doing exactly what he wants. This advantage that Norman has over him is his weak spot. Alex Romero doesn't like to be inferior to someone else and the fact that this someone is competing with him for Norma's love makes it so much worse.

Norma doesn't know where he went today and he won't tell her. She believes her son will come home soon, told him so yesterday. _I went to see Norman. I told him he could come home. I just couldn't tell my own son he couldn't come home._

They almost had a fight because of it. He was angry. _Thanks for discussing it with me._ She was upset and confused, wanted to do right by her son and her husband. _Alex, please. Please, please, please. Don't be mad at me. Please? You can't be mad. I can't stand it._ He was so furious when he realized Norman had manipulated his mother once more that Norma's concern to have angered him felt like a victory. Shame washes over him as Alex remembers it. He should have assured her everything was fine right after her first words. Instead he let her go on and on, let her pull him in a desperate embrace only to make himself feel better.

She is preparing dinner when he arrives at home, the tension due to her encounter with Norman on the day before still trapped in her body. Something has changed since she visited her son, Norman having an influence on their lives although he is not even there. Norma asked him once if he wanted them to be a family. Alex said yes. It was a lie. At least partly. The way Norman is now, a danger to himself and others, he can't imagine it. But the truth is, he would try for her sake. And he will if Norman will be released with a good prognosis.

"Hi, honey." Norma's posture may be tense, however her smile is genuine. She is always so happy to see him. Alex doesn't know what he did to deserve this. Well, strictly speaking he does know. Two dead bodies can attest to it. And yet, he can't believe this beautiful, exceptional woman loves him that much.

"Hi." He takes her in his arms. "I need to talk to you. I got a call on my way here because they couldn't reach you."

She is worried immediately. " _They?_ Was it about Norman? Why weren't they able to reach me? I was here the whole day."

"Norma, calm down." Alex grabs her shoulders and feels her relax. He knows she considers him her protective shield against the world. When she looks at him, the complete trust in her eyes feels like a silent reproach, as if she knows what is about to do. He killed for her, lied for her, but now he will lie _to her_. Alex swallows. "Norman is not coming home." And then he tells her the story he agreed on with the woman who took his money. Something about more therapy sessions that are needed and require that Norman stays at Pineview as long as it will take. At least six months, but Alex doesn't tell Norma that.

She kept lying to him about the way Norman's father died, protected her son's secret that he killed his own father because she didn't want anything to happen to him. Wasn't that basically the same?

The biggest lies we tell out of love.

* * *

**2017**

Sometimes it feels as if nothing has changed during the last years. Alex is as happy with Norma and as madly in love with her as when they got married. _When?_ It's a game they sometimes play. _When did you want to kiss me for the first time? When did you realize you loved me? When did you know this wasn't a fake marriage anymore?_ It's tricky for them to agree on a timeline. They are not like other couples. They didn't meet, date, fall in love and then marry. Their story is one of suspicion, betrayal and many other complicated things, and yet, here they are. They made it.

But the truth is nothing is the same anymore. Two years ago everything felt temporary. Yes, they were in love and happy. However they knew it was their honeymoon phase, so to speak, and that their love still had to stand the test of everyday life. What it did. And Norman was in Pineview, but it had a timestamp. The parameters were that he would stay for a limited period only and then come back home, if not completely cured then at least feeling better and not being dangerous or delusional anymore. Then they found the body of Emma's mother with traces of Norman's DNA on it. The trial was quick, the sentence definite. Norman will not be allowed to leave Pineview unless two psychologists independently of each other attest his mental health. Something that won't happen anytime soon, if ever. Despite a highly qualified treatment and regular medication, his delusions have become gradually worse. Last time they visited him, Norman accused Norma of replicating his mother because he thinks he is her. Norma cried the entire time on their way home.

In a way, Norman is the shadow hanging over their lives, balanced out by the light that are Dylan, Emma and their daughter Katie. Albeit Norma pretends she still believes Norman will get better one day, they all know that statistical probability says the opposite. It's a desperate hope against hope fueled by the unwavering love of a mother. His ambiguous relationship with her youngest son aside, Alex loves and even admires Norma for it. She is the most resilient person he knows.

It's a warm summer evening. They are sitting on their new, bigger porch that Alex built. Dylan helped a bit now and then, but he is busy with his own house already. The porch overlooks the motel that is half booked out. Without the bypass, it would be fully booked during this time of the year. Surprisingly enough, the bypass didn't take away as many guests as they feared though. Some people obviously prefer side roads.

Whenever Alex comes home, he can't believe how different the house looks. They painted it white and Norma decorated the porch with flowers. The house always was impressive and had its own character. However there used to be a grim touch where there is a light-hearted atmosphere now. They will redesign the interior next. Alex is sure that Norma will insist on keeping the vintage feel of it. He wouldn't have it any other way. Where else could a woman live that dresses the way Norma does?

He feels her fingers stroke his hand. She snuggles up to him, putting her head on his shoulder. The bank on the porch is their favorite place on mild evenings like these.

"It's so peaceful," Norma sighs contentedly

Alex puts his arm around her shoulders. It is peaceful. There is something on his mind though, has been all day, that has the potential to turn this peaceful evening into a war zone.

"Norma, I need to tell you something."

She stops stroking his hand for a moment and then starts again. "Okay."

"You won't like it."

This time Norma's caress stops for good. She sits up. " _Okay_." Saying it slowly, warily.

This day is as good or bad for his confession as any other day. Alex had that dream again last night. A recurring nightmare that feels like the subliminal message of a parallel universe telling him he made the right decision back then, showing him what would have happened if they had let Norman come home. He is always bathed in perspiration after he woke up because it always ends the same. Norma dies in his arms, an ethereal vision in a white nightgown, poisoned by Norman who found a way to manipulate the furnace. Alex's hands still ache from the failed effort to resuscitate her as if it actually happened. A phantom pain finding its way into the real world to give him a sign that it's time to tell Norma about his secret.

Alex turns to Norma.

"When Norman was supposed to come home almost two years ago..."

Something in Norma's face twitches, only the slightest indication that she might have an idea where this is going. Why is this so hard? Because despite her love for him, Alex is not sure Norma will forgive him his betrayal since it concerns her son.

"The day after you had told me that, I went to Pineview," Alex continues, anyway. "I took some of Bob Paris' getaway money and..."

"I know." Norma interrupts him, averting her eyes.

There is a long pause while Alex studies her. Norma wrings her hands in her lap.

"I know," she repeats in a whisper as if it was her who did something bad.

"How…?"

"Because they called a week later to confirm the new end date of Norman's stay according to your payment." So the Pineview management is not only corrupt but also stupid. It should make him wonder how they have managed to not blow their cover yet, but Alex couldn't care less at the moment.

"So what… Why didn't you tell me?" _Or accuse me or ask for a divorce?_ Alex is confused.

Norma pulls at the hem of her dress so hard that Alex fears she will tear it apart, covering her hand with his to stop her. It makes her look at him eventually. There are tears in her eyes.

"Because I hated myself for not wanting him back home. But ever since he threatened me down in that basement…," Norma's voice that was barely audible already trails off as Alex pulls her in his arms.

"Did you hate me for it?" he asks.

"Sometimes."

"Did you love me for it?"

Norma leans back to hold his gaze. "Always."

They don't talk for a while. Just sit there, holding each other until the sun goes down.

"You know," Alex starts. "Maybe things will be different one day. Maybe Norman will feel better and can come home."

At first he thinks Norma has fallen asleep because she doesn't respond anything. But then she moves and snuggles even closer into him.

"Don't do that," she says. "I'm his mother. I will _always_ hope this will happen, but we all know that chances are slim. You don't have to pretend."

"Norma, I..."

She sits up again, taking his face in her hands. "This is enough, Alex. It hurts that Norman can't be here with us, but this, you and me. It's enough. I don't need anything else."

The next time Alex has that dream, it has a different ending. Norma survives.

* * *

**Norma**

**2013**

"Is there something wrong with me?" Norman is sitting next to her on the bench in front of her vanity. He has always loved to watch her get dressed or put on her make-up ever since he was a child.

She shouldn't have told him about his black outs and hallucinations in the first place. It was a mistake.

"No, honey. No, I just said that. I didn't believe you and I had… I had to give you a reason in the moment. So there's nothing wrong with you."

"Do you promise?"

"Stop being so dramatic."

There is a pause while she can feel him watching her, thinking. Then. "Remember what we promised each other the night we dumped the body of that hideous man in the lake?" Keith Summers. The man who raped her.

 _No lies._ That's what they promised each other that night. In a world that had gotten out of control, they needed to rely on each other even more than they'd had before.

"Norman..." She takes his hand.

"Is there something wrong with me?" he asks again and she wants to tell him because this is Norman, her son, the only person in the entire world she trusts and she wants to share everything with him, no matter what it is. But this… She can't share this. It will tear them apart in one way or the other and this is the one thing she won't be able to survive.

Part of Norma knows this is selfish and wrong, but another part of her justifies it because they are meant to be together. Forever. And this is the only way she can guarantee that they will. She promised never to lie to him, however white lies don't count, right? After all she only does it to protect him. And she will find a way to keep his problems under control. They checked him at the hospital; there is nothing wrong with him. It's just a phase that will go away.

Norma leans forward to kiss and embrace her son. If nothing else works, then their physical proximity always does the trick.

"There is nothing wrong with you and if there was, I would always protect you. You know that."

She feels her son hugging her back, a little too tight, the way he always does it, has done it since he was a toddler save that he is not a child anymore. On some days she wonders where they are heading, how this, their closeness, is supposed to work when he is an adult or when… _if_ she ever finds someone new. For a split second she wants to tell him the truth, but it feels like spinning her life into the unknown and so she remains silent.

"Can we watch a movie together later?" Norman asks, his eyes briefly flickering over to her bed.

Norma knows he means _in here_ what also means that they will probably fall asleep at some point and he will sleep in her bed. Again. It always happened now and then when he was younger, but recently it has become a habit and shouldn't it be the other way round? If at all. Sometimes it scares her how much she likes it. It makes her feel safe, especially when he is holding her. It also scares her how much Norman apparently likes it. Does it make him feel safe too? And if not, then what does it make him feel?

She straightens herself, shaking off the thoughts. This is not something she wants to concern herself with now.

"Of course, honey." Norma says instead, smiling at her son, intertwining their fingers just as the unwanted thoughts push themselves back in her head.

_What if it isn't just a phase? What if his condition gets worse and the only solution is to get him help? Help that might lead to him being taken away from her? Will she be able to do that? Will he let her?_

For now, they have a movie to watch and dinner to prepare though. Later, that is, when they will have found a way to settle the thing with that stupid belt. Speaking of… Dylan comes up the stairs, raising his eyebrows when he finds mother and son sitting too close to each other in her bedroom albeit he doesn't address it. He has an idea how to find the belt and get rid of another threat that is hanging over their lives like the sword of Damocles.

Only when her sons are gone, putting their plan into action, and Norma is sitting in the house all alone, waiting for them to come back, the thoughts creep up on her once more.

 _What if he's dangerous?_ the voice in her head whispers. _What if I can't control it? What if he…? Stop!_ she scolds herself when she detects the headlights of an approaching car outside. Her sons must be back and everything will be good now. They will make sure no one will ever harm her. Otherwise she will be lost. Because who else would love her enough to do that?

**Author's Note:**

> Don't ask me why I chose these exact moments for Norman, Dylan and Alex to change history, so to speak. There probably are many others that could have worked just as well, but somehow I liked these as a basis for my extended/different version of what happened.


End file.
